Wednesday 9 October 2013

I love KFC

I wrote this to KFC and they are sending me vouchers for two months worth of free chicken, thought you might enjoy it.  - Mpho Mabitsela




I have, over the years, enjoyed chicken in a large number of your stores, and I must commend you and your franchisees for the consistently high quality.
Whether I got to the Centurion store on Old JHB road (my favourite store, thanks for the 24 hour thing, it rocks) or the one in Potchefstroom, I'm always happy.
  
There is a store that is bucking that trend however, the KFC on President Street Johannesburg is, please excuse my language, the vas deferens to your otherwise excellent body of work.

- The wait to procure what is already sitting in the window is Chicken Licken-esque (I know, low blow, but truth is truth). It's unacceptable to wait that long, especially if the chicken is not freshly prepared.

- And now it dawns on me that I made my next point in my last point; please excuse my erratic writing, I love KFC  and these guys are killing it for me, I'm emotional.
It seems the President Street store is pioneering KFC Biltong. The quality of the chicken there is Hungry Lion-esque (again, low blow, but truth is truth). While I crack my molars and lacerate my gums on a wing that is dry enough to masquerade as a Nando's starter (my bad, I did it again, but truth is truth), I fantasise about a meal I shared with my beloved early on a Saturday morning at my Centurion outlet, after a heavy night clubbing. That, good people, felt like heaven allowed the Colonel a few more minutes on this wretched earth to bring a smile to a weary face. Notice that I fantasise about the meal and not what happened afterwards. I LOVE KFC!!!

- The president street store is situated near FNB Bank  City; where the most innovative bank in the world, packs in their most innovative call centre agents, and they flock in their most innovative new uniforms, holding their most innovative bank card, yearning for the SAME OLD TRIED AND TESTED GOODNESS FROM GOOD OL' COLONEL SANDERS. And they all too often fall foul (I love chicken puns) to the same old problem of the card machine not working. So the innovative workforce from the most innovative bank goes to the most innovative murderer of chickens, Dorego's :'(
I weep at the thought of so many chickens that gave their lives in the service of man, only to be turned into red cardboard. 

There are many, many reasons why that store should be shut down to save your great reputation, or be given a kick in between the side breasts so it brings its standards up.

 They have an office in the kitchen, the kitchen is dirty, the staff don't care (there's one gentleman who is really good, unfortunately I didn't get his name, I'll be sure to fix that), the chicken pieces are much smaller than normal, the food is cold, the cool drinks are warm etc..



I would like to go into all of them, but I'm losing my sense of humour. Please help us, please help them, and please help the innocent child whose first KFC experience could be marred by that monstrosity. Yes! DO IT FOR THE KIDS!!!
Do it for the most innovative bank in the world. Do it for the insurance company that was around when Jan Van Riebeeck's mastered the side parking at Cape Point. Do it for the Game employees next door who have to see the sulking faces walking out of that establishment's doors. Do it for ME, the boy who was given a KFC drumstick bone when he was too young to eat meat, and fell in love.

Regards'
Mpho Mabitsela
Avid Lover of chicken, KFC chicken