A date with The Avengers

Real heroes pose with their poo face.

After all the buzz and hype I finally decided to take myself out on a movie date and see The Avengers. I’ve always considered it weird that people go see a movie alone but I realised it’s actually really awesome. In fact going to the movies alone is almost as fulfilling has having sex alone, well just without the dramatic ‘sneeze in your pants’ at the end. I thought going to the movies alone was only reserved for sex offenders and movie critics but I was wrong and The Avengers was the perfect movie for this.  It was also my first 3D experience but unfortunately it added about as much value to the movie as Jik did to Mshoza’s face.

I’m a pretty big Marvel fan and so a movie that had this many Marvel heroes in it really blew me away. The only other place there’s ever been so many stars is probably in-between Kim Kardashian’s thighs.  Each superhero also really had their moment to shine so no matter who your favourite is you get your money’s worth, and a lot of money is definitely being spent as it is now Disney’s highest grossing movie ever and has been number one at the box-office for three consecutive weeks. So I think I’ve found the secret to curbing movie piracy and I’d like to share it with film makers; don’t make crappy movies and unimaginative sequels you then label ‘a movie franchise’. A perfect example is American Pie 15/Reunion or whatever it is their on. Hollywood film makers’ creativity needs to match their love for money or else I’m putting on my eye-patch watching their movies for next to nothing. The Avengers had my full attention from the moment I sat down and it would have taken a natural disaster or diarrhoea to pull me away. This was a much needed addition to the comic book hero genre that definitely deserves all the love it’s getting.

So at a time when Hollywood creativity is probably sitting lower than Joan Rivers' nipples I have to salute the creators of The Avengers for giving us an amazing movie experience that up until now a lot of young movie lovers probably only found in pirated porn movies they got on the internet. If you haven’t seen The Avengers yet I recommend you do so as soon as possible, plus it’s always better on the big screen and all that jazz.  #NoBarryRonge